《杂记》Pavilionn

5、Guilty as Sin?

　　Drowning in the Blue Nile
　　我正在The Blue Nile的歌里沉醉
　　He sent me "Downtown Lights"
　　他把《The Downtown Lights》这首歌发了过来
　　I hadn't heard it in a while
　　不过我有阵子没听了
　　My boredom's bone-deep
　　感觉无聊透顶
　　This cage was once just fine
　　这备受束缚的生活我也曾觉得很不错
　　Am I allowed to cry
　　我能大哭一场吗
　　I dream of cracking locks
　　我渴望挣脱束缚
　　Throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks
　　抛却前尘往事 或者把它留在岸边的礁石上
　　Crashing into him tonight he's a paradox
　　今晚我竟然撞见他了他是个十分拧巴的人
　　I'm seeing visions am I bad
　　我感觉自己出现幻觉了我是不是很邪恶
　　Or mad
　　我是疯了吗
　　Or wise
　　亦或说这是明智之举
　　What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind
　　若他在我大腿上刻上为我所属的字样但这只是我的幻想那么会怎样
　　One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
　　一不小心我便会跌入感情漩涡
　　Oh what a way to die
　　那该有多痛苦啊
　　I keep recalling things we never did
　　我一直回味着我们并未一起经历过的事情
　　Messy top lip kiss how I long for our trysts
　　比如凌乱中的上唇吻因为我十分渴望与你幽会
　　Without ever touching his skin
　　不过我们都没亲密接触过
　　How can I be guilty as sin
　　我怎会感觉如此羞愧难当
　　I keep these longings locked
　　我一直压抑着自己的渴望
　　In lowercase inside a vault
　　就像锁在保险柜里的文件一样
　　Someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts
　　有人告诉我想法本身无所谓好坏
　　Only your actions talk
　　举止才能说明问题
　　These fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath
　　这种不切实际的幻想让我感觉几欲窒息
　　Taking all of me we've already done it in my head
　　它耗尽了我的精力因为我已经在脑海里把一切过了一遍
　　If it's make-believe
　　如果这一切只是虚假的幻象
　　Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow
　　为何我感觉它像是我们要共同信守的诺言
　　What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind
　　若他在我大腿上刻上为我所属的字样但这只是我的幻想那么会怎样
　　One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
　　一不小心我便会跌入感情漩涡
　　Oh what a way to die
　　那该有多痛苦啊
　　My bedsheets are ablaze I've screamed his name
　　我的床好像着火了惊慌中我呼喊着他的名字
　　Building up like waves crashing over my grave
　　汹涌而至的恐惧让我深陷无尽的苦痛中
　　Without ever touching his skin
　　不过我们都没亲密接触过
　　How can I be guilty as sin
　　我怎会感觉如此羞愧难当
　　What if I roll the stone away
　　就算我躲开他们的诋毁中伤
　　They're gonna crucify me anyway
　　他们还是会想尽办法折磨我
　　What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy
　　如果你的怀抱才是我神圣的归宿那会怎样
　　If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me
　　如果他们渴望的就是看我饱受世俗的折磨
　　They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly
　　那他们便不会懂你如何让我魂牵梦萦
　　I choose you and me religiously
　　选择与你共度余生是我的信仰
　　What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind
　　若他在我大腿上刻上为我所属的字样但这只是我的幻想那么会怎样
　　One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
　　一不小心我便会跌入感情漩涡
　　Oh what a way to die
　　那该有多痛苦啊
　　I keep recalling things we never did
　　我一直回味着我们并未一起经历过的事情
　　Messy top lip kiss how I long for our trysts
　　比如凌乱中的上唇吻因为我十分渴望与你幽会
　　Without ever touching his skin
　　不过我们都没亲密接触过
　　How can I be guilty as sin
　　我怎会感觉如此羞愧难当
　　He sent me "Downtown Lights"
　　他把《The Downtown Lights》这首歌发了过来
　　I hadn't heard it in a while
　　不过我有阵子没听了
　　Am I allowed to cry
　　我能大哭一场吗

---

作者有话要说：　　霉霉，你是我的神！！！